Under Cover Coffee

I'm Jake, a 19 year old student and rower at the University of Washington... and I live off coffee. Every weekday I go to any of the many Starbucks in Seattle and order coffee. When they ask my name, I tell them something completely ridiculous, all the while holding a straight face. If I can get them to write it on the cup, it is officially a successful day!
Day 11- I know I haven’t posted in a while, its because hitting up Starbucks everyday has become hard to fit into my schedule. But you can still expect a few undercover coffee posts a week! This was a fun one, and I think the barista liked it… hence the :)

Day 11- I know I haven’t posted in a while, its because hitting up Starbucks everyday has become hard to fit into my schedule. But you can still expect a few undercover coffee posts a week! This was a fun one, and I think the barista liked it… hence the :)

Day 10- Decided to try and get a girls name today, so I had to start with a very strange one! This one definitely got some interesting looks, but I have to say the best reaction wasn’t even in Starbucks at all. It was in my first class of the day, as I was drinking the coffee. A girl in the class came up to me after class and said “I didn’t know Hermione drank coffee!” 

Day 10- Decided to try and get a girls name today, so I had to start with a very strange one! This one definitely got some interesting looks, but I have to say the best reaction wasn’t even in Starbucks at all. It was in my first class of the day, as I was drinking the coffee. A girl in the class came up to me after class and said “I didn’t know Hermione drank coffee!” 

Day 9- Went for a late night hot chocolate! Since the Starbucks wasn’t too busy so they didn’t write a name at first, so I asked “excuse me, aren’t you going to write my name on the cup?” The guy sighed and said “alright, what’s your name?” …”Porky.”

Day 9- Went for a late night hot chocolate! Since the Starbucks wasn’t too busy so they didn’t write a name at first, so I asked “excuse me, aren’t you going to write my name on the cup?” The guy sighed and said “alright, what’s your name?” …”Porky.”

Day 8- the other day I started thinking about the name “Wolfgang.” I feel like there are a fair amount of famous historical figures named Wolfgang, but you never meet anybody on the street with that name… Until today. Have a great day, everybody!

Day 8- the other day I started thinking about the name “Wolfgang.” I feel like there are a fair amount of famous historical figures named Wolfgang, but you never meet anybody on the street with that name… Until today. Have a great day, everybody!

Day 7- This one was pretty funny. I already had this name picked out, but when I went into Starbucks, I saw that the dude behind the counter was a nerdy kid who looked like the stereotypical Nintendo lover (not hating, I love Nintendo!) Anyways, I told him my name was Luigi and he said “You are my favorite Nintendo character ever!” 

Day 7- This one was pretty funny. I already had this name picked out, but when I went into Starbucks, I saw that the dude behind the counter was a nerdy kid who looked like the stereotypical Nintendo lover (not hating, I love Nintendo!) Anyways, I told him my name was Luigi and he said “You are my favorite Nintendo character ever!” 

Day 6- Walked into Starbucks this morning wearing badass black reflective sunglasses. The barrista seemed a little weirded out, and when I told her my name was “Morpheus” she didn’t ask questions, just wrote it on the cup! Hahaha!

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the Decaf - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and struggle through the day without any caffeine. You take the Double Shot in the Dark - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the caffeine fueled rabbit-hole goes.” -Morpheus, The Matrix

Day 6- Walked into Starbucks this morning wearing badass black reflective sunglasses. The barrista seemed a little weirded out, and when I told her my name was “Morpheus” she didn’t ask questions, just wrote it on the cup! Hahaha!


This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the Decaf - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and struggle through the day without any caffeine. You take the Double Shot in the Dark - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the caffeine fueled rabbit-hole goes.” -Morpheus, The Matrix

Day 5- Decided to go with an epic name today. Leonidas is, of course, the super jacked leader of the Spartan army in the gorefest of a film known as 300. In line, I really had to prepare myself to say it with a straight face, especially since the lady working the register was a stern looking middle aged woman. When I ordered, however, she was really nice and asked how it was spelled and what the origin was. I told her my parents were from Sparta. 

“THIS. IS. STARBUCKS!!!!” -Leonidas

Day 5- Decided to go with an epic name today. Leonidas is, of course, the super jacked leader of the Spartan army in the gorefest of a film known as 300. In line, I really had to prepare myself to say it with a straight face, especially since the lady working the register was a stern looking middle aged woman. When I ordered, however, she was really nice and asked how it was spelled and what the origin was. I told her my parents were from Sparta. 

“THIS. IS. STARBUCKS!!!!” -Leonidas

Day 4- Decided to go for an American classic! If you don’t know who Alfalfa is, he is the charismatic young lovebird in the film The Little Rascals, the 1994 classic that is a part of most of our childhoods. When the guy behind the counter asked for my name, I said: ‘I have a pretty weird name…. its Alfalfa.” He was momentarily stunned, then laughed and said: “Rad name, man! That’s awesome!” What a bro!

Day 4- Decided to go for an American classic! If you don’t know who Alfalfa is, he is the charismatic young lovebird in the film The Little Rascals, the 1994 classic that is a part of most of our childhoods. When the guy behind the counter asked for my name, I said: ‘I have a pretty weird name…. its Alfalfa.” He was momentarily stunned, then laughed and said: “Rad name, man! That’s awesome!” What a bro!

My friend Cam snagged this pic of me in our philosophy class. A perfect example of an era I refer to as “BC” (before coffee).

My friend Cam snagged this pic of me in our philosophy class. A perfect example of an era I refer to as “BC” (before coffee).

Day 3- Decided to just dive in with a classic, hilarious name. Standing in line, I was getting myself ready to say it without cracking up. When I told the guy that my name was Frodo, he said: “No way?! Really?” to which I replied: “yeah, my parents are huge Lord of the Rings fans!” He laughed and said: “They must have really loved those movies!” …I guess he doesn’t realize that the first movie came out in 2001, meaning that if I was really named after the movies (rather than the books), that would make me 11 years old. 

Day 3- Decided to just dive in with a classic, hilarious name. Standing in line, I was getting myself ready to say it without cracking up. When I told the guy that my name was Frodo, he said: “No way?! Really?” to which I replied: “yeah, my parents are huge Lord of the Rings fans!” He laughed and said: “They must have really loved those movies!” …I guess he doesn’t realize that the first movie came out in 2001, meaning that if I was really named after the movies (rather than the books), that would make me 11 years old.